Season 1 Episode 4 title card

During a brief respite in the wetlands, tensions rise between October and Cherry Blossom...

ACTORS:

Manfred - Alexander Cruz;
Dragonfly Guard - Takeshi Fukushima;
Cherry Blossom, Fish with Legs - Zoë Bujold;
October - Erin Dunlop;
Narrator - Elisabeth Nyveen.

 

Created by Dexter Lavery-Callender, Elisabeth Nyveen, and Zoë Bujold.

Written and edited by Dexter Lavery-Callender and Elisabeth Nyveen.

Music by Alexander Cruz.

OCTOBER JONES & FISH WITH LEGS

Transcript.

Season 1, Episode 4: Girl V Iguana: Dawn of Deceit.

Aired October 26th, 2020.

[Music: a groovy, cheerful, optimistic theme song.]

 

Fish with Legs is a fish and a dreamer / She wants to help as best as she can

 

October Jones is a human teenager / She’ll prove herself with smarts and her plans

 

If they don’t stop these two snakes soon enough / A big evil monster will eat all their stuff

 

But the power of friendship ‘tween a fish and a girl / Will save the world

 

Fish and October!

 

[THE CRYSTAL BALL TURNS ON WITH AN 80’S TECH NOISE.]

 

NARRATOR:

Let’s begin. Okay, so last time we saw October Jones and Fish with Legs, Fish had just escaped the evil two-headed snake Simon and Sarfunkel who want to capture her to use her in their evil summoning ritual to awaken Mamamorbus—bad monster. Fish found and befriended October and together they stole the giant iguana Cherry Blossom from October’s idol Manfred Splainer the Mighty. They are now on their way to Herovia City, the first stop on their quest to defeat the snakes.

 

[Music: a subdued but still optimistic electric piano.

THE RHYTHMIC BEAT OF RUNNING LIZARD FEET.]

 

NARRATOR:

Cherry Blossom is trotting along, carrying the party down a wooden path that winds through a fallow wetland. Judging by the tufty plants, it’s either a bog or a fen.

 

[PAUSE.]

 

NARRATOR:

Yeah there’s a difference. 

 

[PAUSE.]

 

NARRATOR:

I’m not gonna get into it now. The boards are old and chipped, little green things growing around the edges. There’s a wobbly railing on one side. We passed some other travellers while I was choosing between bog and fen. I guess this trail is like a bog highway. I’m going with bog by the way. 

 

[BIRDS AND OTHER BOG WILDLIFE.]

 

NARRATOR:

Aside from the little streams and wide, clear ponds, the ground is the texture of a well-cooked yam. Cherry Blossom’s claws are excellently gripping the walkway as she huffs sinuously north. 

 

[Music ends.]

 

NARRATOR:

She looks tired. Actually all three of them look rumpled. Looks like we caught them at the tail end of a long day of travel. October’s perched on the back of the saddle with her wacky notebook and huge eyebags. Fish with Legs sits nobly in front, wielding the reins with panache and a non-zero amount of wiggling. No wait, squirming.

 

FISH WITH LEGS:

October, can we stop?

 

OCTOBER:

...No.

 

FISH WITH LEGS:

But I have to pee.

 

OCTOBER:

How do you have to pee again?

 

FISH WITH LEGS:

I’m the Elemental Creature of Water. I make a lotta water!

 

OCTOBER:

Okay, well hold it in a little longer.

 

CHERRY BLOSSOM:

(mournful reproach)

Blarg, blarg..

 

NARRATOR:

Cherry Blossom is now also squirming.

 

FISH WITH LEGS:

You hungry, Cherry Blossom? 

 

CHERRY BLOSSOM:

(flat)

Blarg.

 

FISH WITH LEGS:

Tired?

 

CHERRY BLOSSOM:

(protesting)

Blarg blarg!

 

OCTOBER:

We’re not stopping.

 

CHERRY BLOSSOM:

(annoyed)

Blarg!, blarg...

 

FISH WITH LEGS:

October, you’re my best friend and your wisdom is truly unmatched, wisdom bursts out of you, you are the greatest, wisest adviser and wisdom and wise and—I really gotta peeee.

 

CHERRY BLOSSOM:

(angry)

Blarg!

 

FISH WITH LEGS:

And Cherry Blossom wants a break.

 

OCTOBER:

(sigh) Fine. Quick break.

 

CHERRY BLOSSOM:

(relieved)

Blarg..

 

FISH WITH LEGS:

Whoaaaa.

 

CHERRY BLOSSOM:

(energetic)

Blarg blaarg blarg blarg!

 

FISH WITH LEGS:

Good girl.

 

[NO MORE LIZARD FEET.]

 

NARRATOR:

Cherry Blossom stops and Fish slides off her back, gives her shoulder an affectionate pat, and makes her way briskly off the path and through the mud to a nearby shrub. 

 

[CHERRY BLOSSOM BLARGS AFFECTIONATELY. FISH’S HEELS GO FROM THE WOOD BRIDGE TO VERY WET, SQUISHY BOG GROUND.]

 

NARRATOR:

October… doesn’t look up.

 

OCTOBER:

Okay, go pee.

 

FISH WITH LEGS:

Take a little break, Cherry Blossom. You deserve it.

 

CHERRY BLOSSOM:

(affectionate)

Blarg blarg blarg...

 

NARRATOR:

Her first shrub unsuitable, Fish scans the area a bit desperately and locks on to a far-off cluster of taller shrubs growing in a trickling stream. 

 

[TWO BIG MUD STEPS, THEN:]

 

NARRATOR:

But she hesitates.

 

FISH WITH LEGS:

I’m going over there and taking care of my fishy business.

 

OCTOBER:

Awesome.

 

FISH WITH LEGS:

Now, while I’m in there I want you and Cherry Blossom to get along.

 

OCTOBER:

Sure. Whatever.

 

FISH WITH LEGS:

I know you two have your differences, but it’s very important to me that my two best friends are also best friends. Got it?

 

OCTOBER:

Mhm. I said yes.

 

FISH WITH LEGS:

That goes for you too, Cherry Blossom.

 

CHERRY BLOSSOM:

(agreeing)

Blarg, blarg.

 

FISH WITH LEGS:

Okay, okay, love you both! Be back soon.

 

NARRATOR:

Fish with Legs squishes away. 

 

CHERRY BLOSSOM:

(goodbye)

Blarg!

 

[THE MUD SQUISHES GET FURTHER AWAY AND FADE OUT.]

 

OCTOBER:

Iguana, stay!

 

CHERRY BLOSSOM:

(reluctant)

Blarg.

 

(Timestamp: 3:53)

 

NARRATOR:

October leans back to lounge in the saddle and flips a page.

 

[OCTOBER HUMS.]

 

NARRATOR:

Cherry Blossom shifts her feet.

 

[ACCOMPANIED BY THE JINGLING OF TACK. BIRDS CONTINUE, OCTOBER CONTINUES.]

 

CHERRY BLOSSOM:

(protest)

Blarg blarg, blarg blarg. Blarg… Blarg!

 

OCTOBER:

Ah!

 

[AN ACTIVE JINGLE, BODY HITTING WOOD.]

 

NARRATOR:

Cherry Blossom bucks.

 

OCTOBER:

Hey!

 

NARRATOR:

October lands sprawled on the walkway.

 

OCTOBER:

(sigh)

 

NARRATOR:

October sits up and grabs her fallen notebook. She checks it over for damage while Cherry Blossom gives her the side eye.

 

OCTOBER:

Watch out! This book is really important, it has all my essential research into Mamamorbus!

 

CHERRY BLOSSOM:

(unimpressed)

(huff) Blarg, blarg. Meh.

 

NARRATOR:

October settles herself on the ground. She clearly has very little experience with animals. You can’t see it, but that giant iguana obviously wants a break from her saddle. I guarantee it. 

 

[CHERRY BLOSSOM BLARGS, TRYING TO GET HER ATTENTION. OCTOBER DOESN’T NOTICE, STARTS HUMMING AGAIN.]

 

NARRATOR:

Anyways, October takes a pencil out of her apron and starts sketching the bog.

 

Hm. Decent line work.

 

Cherry Blossom huffs and steps in front of October, obscuring the view she’s drawing.

 

[OCTOBER STOPS HUMMING. HER PENCIL STOPS.]

 

OCTOBER:

Okay, iguana... Can you like—

 

CHERRY BLOSSOM:

(angry)

Blarg!

 

NARRATOR:

Cherry Blossom pointedly wanders off the path to sit down in a puddle.

 

[IT SPLASHES.]

 

OCTOBER:

Come on... Now you’re soaked! We have to ride you!

 

CHERRY BLOSSOM:

(effortful, protesting)

(huff) Blarg, blarg, blarg!

 

NARRATOR:

Cherry Blossom rolls onto her back and nestles herself into the bog, fully soiling the saddle that she wishes was off her back.

 

OCTOBER:

Are you doing this on purpose? Are you actively not listening to me?

 

CHERRY BLOSSOM:

(annoyed)

Blarg! Blarg!

 

OCTOBER:

Get out of there!

 

[MORE SPLASHING.]

 

NARRATOR:

Cherry Blossom ignores her. October stands on the edge of the path.

 

CHERRY BLOSSOM:

(annoyed)

Rah, rah! Rah!

 

OCTOBER:

Listen, we don’t have to like each other. But I would really appreciate it if you would serve your purpose without causing extra trouble.

 

NARRATOR:

Cherry Blossom settles and looks October in the eye.

 

[A SPRAY OF BOG WATER.]

 

OCTOBER:

Does that sound like something we can agree on?

 

CHERRY BLOSSOM:

(flat)

Rah.

 

NARRATOR:

Maintaining eye contact, Cherry Blossom dunks her head in the water. She whips it out and throws her head back, drying herself and soaking October in bog water.

 

[THE SPRAY SPLATTERS ACROSS THE BRIDGE.]

 

OCTOBER:

(sigh) Please. You only need to last us until Herovia City. Because...

 

[Music: a conspiratorial and super ominous droning synth.]

 

NARRATOR:

She glances off to the shrubs where Fish with Legs is taking care of her fishy business. She then leans in to confide in Cherry Blossom. Cherry Blossom is distracted by some flies buzzing around her face.

 

[CHERRY BLOSSOM LICKS HUNGRILY.]

 

OCTOBER:

Between you and me, I have no intention of bringing that fish to the Plains of Breezil. When we get to Herovia City, I’m handing her over to the High Council and then I’m returning you to Manfred. And then he’s gonna forgive me and probably thank me once he finds out how important the fish is.

 

And then you and me never have to see each other again! Unless, of course, Manfred starts mentoring me—

 

NARRATOR:

(incredulous laugh) Wow... 

 

OCTOBER:

—and bringing me on missions with him...

 

NARRATOR:

This evil little manipulative human.

 

[PAUSE.]

 

NARRATOR:

Yeah, I don’t like her anymore either. She’s bad news. 

 

[Music ends.]

 

NARRATOR:

Cherry Blossom however, seems… unfazed. 

 

[CHERRY BLOSSOM’S TONGUE STRIKES OUT. FLIES BUZZ]

 

NARRATOR:

She’s much more interested in those flies.

 

OCTOBER:

(like a strained camp counselor)

So what do you say, Cherry Blossom? Ready to get out of the water?

 

NARRATOR:

Cherry Blossom catches a fly and swallows it with a satisfied air. 

 

[SHE SETTLES WITH A SPLASH AND SMACKING OF LIPS.]

 

NARRATOR:

She seems very comfortable in that water.

 

OCTOBER:

Of course that didn’t convince you. You’re a giant lizard who doesn’t understand human language! (sigh) Alright. Let’s get you out of there… 

 

NARRATOR:

October rests her book on the wooden pathway and steps into the bog to grab Cherry Blossom’s swinging reins. 

 

CHERRY BLOSSOM:

Blarg?

 

[MORE WET MOVEMENT. OCTOBER BREATHES NERVOUSLY AND MAKES NOISES OF EFFORT.]

 

NARRATOR:

Her hands and feet slide in the mud but she tugs, jerking Cherry Blossom’s head forward.

 

CHERRY BLOSSOM:

(protest)

Blarg!

 

OCTOBER:

Come on! Get up!

 

[A LOW, WIDE SPLASH.]

 

CHERRY BLOSSOM:

(obstinate)

Blarrrrg. Blarg.

 

OCTOBER:

(breathing heavily)

Get. Up.

 

NARRATOR:

October tugs again. Cherry tugs back, and October is thrown off balance and half into the water.

 

[THEY BOTH VOCALIZE DURING THE WET TUG-OF-WAR.]

 

OCTOBER:

(gasp) Whoa!

 

NARRATOR:

October gets up with difficulty, using her death grip on the reins. Her legs are brown and sopping.

 

OCTOBER:

You’re stubborn. You know that? You’re a stubborn lizard.

 

CHERRY BLOSSOM:

(so what?)

Blarg.

 

NARRATOR:

Cherry Blossom finally gives October some attention. She seems unimpressed with the muddy, irritable teenager.

 

OCTOBER:

But you know what? I’m stubborn too.

 

[OCTOBER RISES WITH A SPLASH.]

 

NARRATOR:

October stretches her arms and backs up purposefully. 

 

OCTOBER:

(readying breath)

 

NARRATOR:

Then, with all her weight, she charges into Cherry Blossom’s side and—

 

CHERRY BLOSSOM:

(scared)

Blaaaaaaarg!

 

[A COMPLEX MOMENT: CHERRY BLOSSOM CRIES, WATER, OCTOBER, IMPACT, MUD.]

 

NARRATOR:

Cherry Blossom’s feet slip out from under her. She lands hard.

 

OCTOBER:

Wow! See? Told you. October 19th 104 Jones gets things done.

 

[Music: Herovian military drum tattoo, which is joined by a heroic but intimidating trumpet.]

 

NARRATOR:

October has definitely earned Cherry Blossom’s full attention. 

 

[THREATENINGLY SLOW WATER PLOPS.]

 

NARRATOR:

The massive reptile slowly gets back to her feet, dripping in muddy water. She turns to face October and stares her down with composed intensity.

 

OCTOBER:

Ah, I-I mean… Whoa there, iguana…

 

CHERRY BLOSSOM:

(pissed)

Blarrrrrrg...

 

OCTOBER:

Please don’t—

 

CHERRY BLOSSOM:

BlaaaAAARG...

 

OCTOBER:

AH!

 

[MUDDY FLEEING.]

 

NARRATOR:

October scrambles back onto the walkway as Cherry Blossom leaps at her, her long talons scraping the wood. They go down, Cherry Blossom on top, puffed up and flushed angrily. She leans in, her throat engorged, and—

 

CHERRY BLOSSOM:

HISSSSSSSSS.

 

OCTOBER:

(mousey noise)

 

NARRATOR:

Her mouth opens like a kite, showing the dark hole of her throat.

 

CHERRY BLOSSOM:

...Rah!

 

[Music ends.]

 

NARRATOR:

Cherry Blossom tucks her face back together and shakes wildly, spattering October again and sending her pack bouncing to the ground.

 

OCTOBER:

Oh, thank Herovia…

 

CHERRY BLOSSOM:

(quietly)

Blarg, blarg. Rah!

 

NARRATOR:

Then Cherry Blossom explodes into movement, limbs flailing as she runs two-legged back the way they came. 

 

[Music: a subdued but still optimistic electric piano.]

 

NARRATOR:

October sits up and watches the lizard disappear in the distance…

 

OCTOBER:

Oh scry!

 

NARRATOR:

She lies on her back.

 

OCTOBER:

That’s bad.

 

[A BEAT.

Music ends.

HUMMING APPROACHES.]

 

(Timestamp: 9:39)

 

NARRATOR:

She stays there on her back for a moment until she hears Fish with Leg’s distant blissful humming…

 

FISH WITH LEGS:

(free-style scatting)

 

[FISH WITH LEGS SQUISHES BACK TOWARD THE WALKWAY.]

 

OCTOBER:

(quietly)

(blows air) Hoo. Okay.

 

NARRATOR:

She sits up as Fish with Legs finally returns. Those legs must be all bladder.

 

FISH WITH LEGS:

It’s gross in there. Full of bugs. I almost got stung by a… bee… Where’s Cherry Blossom?

 

OCTOBER:

Oh! Um… There was something in the water. I didn’t catch what it was, but uh, it really spooked her. Seemed super dangerous.

 

FISH WITH LEGS:

Oh no! I-I hope she’s okay. She’s my second best friend.

 

OCTOBER:

I’m sure she’s fine. She’s a… sturdy lizard.

 

FISH WITH LEGS:

Okay. Plan time. You need to come up with some sort of plan. We have to go find her. She’s probably terrified. There’s a weird amount of bugs in there.

 

OCTOBER:

Oh, um... Hm... I feel like that would be difficult to arrange because—

 

FISH WITH LEGS:

Come on, you’re my adviser! Advise me. Your last plan was great! It gave me my second best friend.

 

OCTOBER:

I don’t know, Fish with Legs. We’re on a tight schedule, remember? We have to beat those snakes to the Plains of Breezil, and we can’t do that without high quality supplies which you can only get in Herovia City.

 

FISH WITH LEGS:

Okayyy, but— Cherry Blossom is the one bringing us to Herovia City.

 

OCTOBER:

Right. But... Who knows how long it’ll take us to find her?

 

FISH WITH LEGS:

Are you suggesting we leave her behind?

 

OCTOBER:

Well, maybe. If that ends up being the best course of action. Let’s reflect on this… 

 

FISH WITH LEGS:

October 19th 104 Jones, how dare you! We’re a team; you, me and Cherry Blossom! Three best friends.

 

OCTOBER:

Yeah, I— I know. And it really pains me? You know, while you were in the bushes me and Cherry Blossom had some really great bonding time. But like I said, we’re on a tight schedule and there’s a town nearby. It would probably take us longer to search for Cherry Blossom than it would to get there, and...

 

FISH WITH LEGS:

But you said there was something dangerous in the water. (gasp) What if Cherry Blossom runs into the water by herself and gets eatennn...

 

OCTOBER:

All the more reason for us not to get in there and look for her! Cherry Blossom is an iguana of the Herovian Guard. She works with Manfred Splainer the Mighty! She can definitely handle herself.

 

Look in here…

 

NARRATOR:

She shows Fish with Legs her notebook.

 

OCTOBER:

See this town at the end of the highway? It’s a huge station for centishuttles and millitreads. I’m sure we can catch a ride to Herovia City there.

 

FISH WITH LEGS:

...This doesn’t feel right.

 

OCTOBER:

Listen, I loved Cherry Blossom too, but we have to think about the greater good. (hesitation) Right, bestie? 

 

Those snakes have to be stopped. And we’re the only ones who can do it.

 

NARRATOR:

Fish looks contemplative. The scales balance between her empathy and her gullibility.

 

FISH WITH LEGS:

(sigh) You’re right.

 

OCTOBER:

Thank you.

 

NARRATOR:

Yeah, that tracks.

 

OCTOBER:

Let’s go.

 

NARRATOR:

Fish with Legs stares soulfully off into the bog.

 

[Music: downbeat, emotional, minor key mix of main theme.]

 

FISH WITH LEGS:

(sigh) I’ll miss you, Cherry Blossom. I’ll never forget that time we camped together. Oh, and how we gave each other pedicures. And we stayed up all night talking about boys, just like a real slumber party...

 

OCTOBER:

You knew her for like a day, okay?

 

FISH WITH LEGS:

(tearful)

I’ll always love you, second best friend…

 

NARRATOR:

Fish hangs her head and solemnly plods along the walkway. 

 

FISH WITH LEGS:

(long sigh)

 

NARRATOR:

October, a bad person and mediocre artist at best, retrieves her soggy bag and ambles unbothered beside her.

 

Wow... I don’t think I can handle anymore of that. Do you wanna—?

 

[PAUSE.]

 

NARRATOR:

Oh. Excellent idea. I would love to see that, yes. 

 

[Music ends.]

 

(Timestamp: 13:16)

 

NARRATOR:

Let’s see what happened to Cherry Blossom.

 

[THE CRYSTAL BALL’S VIEWPOINT CHANGES, SHUTTERING A FEW TIMES.]

 

NARRATOR:

Kayyyy... Ah! I found her.

 

[CHERRY BLOSSOM IS AUDIBLE, THE OCCASIONAL BLARG.]

 

NARRATOR:

She is… running. Okay, boring... Um... 

 

[THE CRYSTAL BALL FIRES UP AND STARTS FAST-FORWARDING LIKE A VCR. OTHER SFX CUT OFF.]

 

NARRATOR:

Lizard running, lizard runninggg... Okay, maybe this wasn’t as interesting an idea as— Oh, I see.

 

[THE CRYSTAL BALL CLICKS AND RESUMES PLAYING IN REAL TIME.]

 

NARRATOR:

Okay. Never mind. Let me paint you a word picture.

 

[Music: a seeking trial, disappointed and worn down.]

 

NARRATOR:

The sun is setting on a long day of searching, coming to an end. A human caravan travels through a field: a large carriage pulled by two iguanas, and another pair of iguanas trotting on either side, both straddled by a Herovian Guard.

 

MANFRED SPLAINER:

(sigh)

 

NARRATOR:

Manfred Splainer the Mighty sits on the carriage. He looks broken. A powerful man reduced to a fragile boy, filled with longing and heartache. He gazes ahead. Solemn.

 

But then... he hears a faint, distant blarg. He perks up. He listens closer and is rewarded with a second blarg. Hope trickles into his empty heart. He lifts a hand. 

 

MANFRED SPLAINER:

(quietly)

Stop.

 

NARRATOR:

The caravan stops.

 

The sound of light rustling. Then, a third, louder blarg. 

 

[Music intensifies, growing expectantly energetic.]

 

NARRATOR:

Manfred steps down from the carriage. A guard tries to stop him—

 

DRAGONFLY GUY

Sir, what—?

 

NARRATOR:

—but Manfred brushes him away. He stares out into the field. All he sees is tall, still grass. 

 

[Music softens, anticipating and hopeful.]

 

NARRATOR:

But there, on the horizon. Movement. A patch of grass waves against the wind. The patch moves closer.

 

Manfred slowly walks toward the incoming patch. He hears a fourth blarg, now much louder. Manfred’s walk turns to a jog, which becomes a run. His run turns into a sprint.

 

The rustling gets louder and Manfred smiles. The waving grass approaches. His sprint grows faster. The blargs grow louder. 

 

[Music has a moment of quiet, then bursts into joyful reunion.]

 

NARRATOR:

A tear runs down Manfred’s cheek as Cherry Blossom, his beloved iguana, bursts from the grass, leaping toward him. 

 

[MANFRED AND CHERRY BLOSSOM MEET WITH HAPPY SOUNDS.]

 

NARRATOR:

Manfred opens his arms as Cherry Blossom tackles him to the ground.

 

MANFRED SPLAINER:

Oh! (laugh) Cherry Blossom!

 

[LIZARD TONGUE NOISES. GRASS RUSTLES.]

 

NARRATOR:

She mercilessly licks every inch of his face, releasing all the love she has in her heart. Manfred wraps his arms around her neck and kisses every part of her he can reach, smearing his face with bits of dried mud.

 

MANFRED SPLAINER:

I was so scared I’d lost you!

 

CHERRY BLOSSOM:

(delighted)

Blarg! Blarg, blarg!

 

MANFRED SPLAINER:

But you found me!

 

CHERRY BLOSSOM:

Blarg blarg!

 

MANFRED SPLAINER:

Oh, Cherry Blossom. You found me... You found me…

 

[MORE LIZARD TONGUE.]

 

NARRATOR:

As the newly reunited settle down together, Manfred sits up beneath her and looks Cherry Blossom in the eye.

 

[Music ends.]

 

MANFRED SPLAINER:

Cherry Blossom... Can you track her? Can you help me find the girl who took you away from me?

 

CHERRY BLOSSOM:

(growly)

Blarg. Blarrrg.

 

MANFRED SPLAINER:

Good. Let’s hunt down that traitor and take that fish to the capital. No one outwits me, Manfred Splainer the Mighty, and gets away with it. Or my name isn’t Manfred Splainer the Mighty, the brave, handsome, strong and surprisingly emotionally vulnerable handsome hero!

 

[Music from earlier returns.]

 

CHERRY BLOSSOM:

(happy)

Blarg, blarg blarg!

 

NARRATOR:

Then he goes back to kissing his lizard and rubbing her scales. 

 

MANFRED SPLAINER:

(kissy noises) Who’s a good girl?

 

NARRATOR:

This seems like a good spot to end. 

 

MANFRED SPLAINER:

(crying)

You are such a good girl!

 

NARRATOR:

Yep. Let’s stop.

 

[Music ends.

THE CRYSTAL BALL TURNS OFF WITH A FINAL 80’S TECH NOISE.]

 

(Timestamp: 17:16)

 

[Music: a triumphant synth trumpet with a vaguely military vibe.]

 

MANFRED SPLAINER:

Congratulations, you’ve listened to October Jones & Fish with Legs. Starring me: Manfred Splainer the Mighty.

 

CHERRY BLOSSOM:

(cheerful)

Blarg!

 

MANFRED SPLAINER: 

And Cherry Blossom the Bold!

 

CHERRY BLOSSOM: 

(satisfied)

Blarg, blarg blarg.

 

MANFRED SPLAINER: 

Good girl.

 

This program was brought to you by the magnificent human minds of Dexter Lavery-Callender—

 

CHERRY BLOSSOM: 

Blarg.

 

MANFRED SPLAINER: 

—Elisabeth Nyveen—

 

CHERRY BLOSSOM: 

Blarg.

 

MANFRED SPLAINER: 

—and Zoë Bujold. 

 

CHERRY BLOSSOM: 

(agreement)

Blarg blarg.

 

MANFRED SPLAINER: 

With beautiful music by the inestimable, talented, and gorgeous Alexander Cruz.

 

CHERRY BLOSSOM: 

(affectionate)

Blarg blarg blarg.

 

MANFRED SPLAINER: 

Truly perfection.

 

CHERRY BLOSSOM: 

Blarg, blarg blarg.

 

MANFRED SPLAINER: 

And we cannot forget the dulcet, attractive tones of Takeshi Fukushima, Zoë Bujold, Erin Dunlop, Elisabeth Nyveen and once again the spectacular, classically handsome Alexander Cruz, evidently a man of many talents.

 

CHERRY BLOSSOM: 

(mild annoyance)

Blarg blarg…

 

MANFRED SPLAINER: 

Yes, yes… You’re right. He’s just… so masterful. 

 

CHERRY BLOSSOM: 

(jealous)

Blarg!

 

MANFRED SPLAINER: 

Oh, Cherry Blossom, you know you’re my best girl. (mushy noises)

 

CHERRY BLOSSOM: 

(accepting the praise and love)

 

MANFRED SPLAINER: 

(mushy noises)

 

CHERRY BLOSSOM: 

(accepting the praise and love)

 

MANFRED SPLAINER: 

I missed you so much! 

 

CHERRY BLOSSOM: 

(happy noises)

 

MANFRED SPLAINER: 

(pet voice)

Yes I did, you’re my number one tracking girl.

 

[Music ends.]

 

CHERRY BLOSSOM: 

(happy noises)

 

MANFRED SPLAINER: 

(pet voice)

Yes, yes, you tracked me down.

 

CHERRY BLOSSOM: 

(basking)

 

[Music: cheerful credits theme.]

 

MANFRED SPLAINER: 

Ahem. Let’s get back on task. I like my work like my glistening abdominal muscles: lean and efficient. So I’ll tell you to rate! Review! And subscribe to “octoberandfish” on Instagram, Facebook, and the places you go to find podcasts when you’re in the mood to listen to something that isn’t cool, universally appealing music composed by Alexander Cruz. Send your emails to octoberandfish@gmail.com. Now, Cherry Blossom…

 

CHERRY BLOSSOM: 

Blarg?

 

MANFRED SPLAINER: 

What have those ruffians done to your nails? 

 

CHERRY BLOSSOM: 

(disappointed)

Blarg.

 

MANFRED SPLAINER: 

This polish. It’s totally inappropriate—

 

CHERRY BLOSSOM: 

(disappointed)

Blarg...

 

MANFRED SPLAINER: 

We both know you’re more of a spring, why would they paint your nails such a lurid red? 

 

Excuse us, we need to go fix this right away. I can’t have my iguana looking less than her best, or she wouldn’t be Cherry Blossom the Bold, the agile, muscled, finely-tuned, handsome, impeccably accessorised snuggleface she is. 

 

CHERRY BLOSSOM: 

(pleased)

Blarg blarg blarg.

 

MANFRED SPLAINER: 

Yes, that’s right, Cherry Blossom. Cherry and Manny are gonna have a little spa day!

 

CHERRY BLOSSOM: 

(excited noises)

 

MANFRED SPLAINER: 

Let’s get that saddle off you.

 

[Music: the ending jingle.]

 

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